Hate Versus Dislike

‘Dislike’ and ‘hate’ fit resemble for meaning, the truth be say dem no be the same. Person fit use:

- ‘Hate’ show say him blood hot wella and him fit kill the person or thing wen no sweet am for belle.

- ‘Dislike’ show say sometin no sweet you at all. For dis kind situation, you go just commot yourself from wetin dey happen (the way weh you go take do, every every go notice say wetin dey no sweet you for belle).

Wetin I dey yan be say, ‘hate’ dey carry one kind yeye swag weh dey show say person no send (at all) and kwokwoma no care wether the person kpeme or dey. As the ‘Hate’ matter carry be, people wey go bukuru dey call am “EMOTION”; and dem dey call ‘Dislike’ “FEELING”.

My broda, I don consider the tin wella and me decide say I go just carry myself tie put for LOVE. You dey ask me why? Reason like this now, ‘hate’ na plenty wahala weh person fit carry put for him own head (bros make the tin no kill you o o!).

Abeg, make you no forget say we no be human beings weh dey try get spiritual experience, nbanu, we be spiritual beings weh dey try get human experience.

The tin don finish for my mouth o o o o!

Offences And Forgiveness

Offload the burden of that offense, by forgiving that same person who offended you.

Fear Of Failure

The fear of failure in relationships may just be the instrument you need to guarantee failure in your relationships.

Please Somebody Help!

The Christian And Sin

#SpiritualLive Consider excreta, though generated in a man's belly, it is unwanted and most be passed out. If it is kept in the man's system, it is uncomfortable to the host and makes him sick.

That's the way SIN is in the life of a Christian. If it is not passed out (confessed & turned away from); it sickens the Christian and make it difficult for him/her to maintain a healthy Christian life.

Lust

#SpiritualLive We may not be able to stamp out LUST from our world today since it has supposedly become the Trademark of this age and time.

Note that it is your responsibility to pay the price of diligence required to stamp LUST out of your HEART as a Christian. AND always remember that Lust should have no place in your LIFE.

However you have a choice to LUST and get LOST. What do you think…

Abeg Choose Well

 

Abeg make una no vex, who make this statement and where?

"One discovery: A woman can be a bitter pill to swallow, full of seductive scheming and grasping. The lucky (the man who pleases God) escapes her; the undiscerning get caught. At least this is my my experience ..."

Relationship Crackers 1

Do the right thing no matter the odds! #Morality #Inspirationalicing #HourOfInsight

Relationship Crackers 2

Be careful for nothing... (Phil. 4:6) #Morality #Inspirationalicing #HourOfInsight

Relationship Crackers 3

Be careful of assumptions before they mar your cherished relationships

September 11 Icing

I thank God for another day in His presence and the opportunity to learn at His feet #Inspirationalicing. Permit me to say that God is really dealing with every member of the Scripture Union family in a special way as it relates to our Quiet time.

From today's reading in Acts 20:1-16, I learnt the following lessons:
a. Be ready and willing to share Jesus Christ with the world around you especially in these days of perversion.
b. Do not let your ministry suffer unduly because of your lack of understanding of God’s timing and purposes (Proverbs 22:3). Paul left the indigenes he had prepared to continue with the work at any point his life became threatened. Unfortunately today so many people want to enjoy the ‘praise’, ‘glory’ etc of an office so they don’t prepare others for succession. That is why the church of suffering so much loss – ‘know when to leave’ (Acts 20:1, 3).
c. To balance item (b) above, Paul also knew when not to allow the devil to steal away people joy of salvation. In Acts 20:9 - 12, Paul led by the spirit of God ensured the young man who fell from a three storey building while listening to the sermon was brought back to life. Imagine the discredit the death of this young man could have brought to his ministry in Turkey!
d. Paul was a good plan and never left anything about his ministry to chance. He had plan A, plan B etc. No wonder he was a great success.
e. The reality of Luke 9:26, Matthew 10:32 etc is right before our eyes now more than ever before.

At #Inspirationalicing, I have asked myself several questions concerning the incident in Acts 20:7 – 12:
- Should I blame Paul for preaching a rather lengthy sermon?
- Should blame the people for quietly listening without complaining?
- Can I blame Eutychus for sitting by the window?
- Am I justified to blame Eutychus for sleeping off in course of the sermon?
- Blah blah blah

The truth is that we cannot over look the reality in Romans 8:28. Let God guide you and you will live to be happy ever after. Leaving a legacy in the ministry is what we have been called to; however discipline is the hallmark of accomplishing it.

Paul is a living witness to this fact (Hebrews 12:1)!

Insights

#‎HourOfInsight‬: A West African proverb on relationship says: "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far"

Meaning: Be affable, but be sure to have effective punitive measures.

September 9 Icing

Reading Acts 19:11-20 this morning, left me with an #Inspirationalicing and a very strong warning too. The warning is: "Ensure Your Curriculum Vitae Is Updated And Your Experiences Are Relevant"

The experience of the 7 sons of Sceva (in the passage above) got me thinking: 'Imagine a young school leaver challenging a bank manager to a contest of being a better manager of man and money to ensure effectiveness and efficiency?'

You can only wonder what will become of this school leaver is he/she is given the responsibility of managing a department of a bank. These sons of Sceva did not pay attention to the simple rule of the thumb in Human Resource management:

-  Your CV must be tailored to suit any job opening you are applying for and,
-   Your experiences muse be relevant to the job advertised for

Before you can apply for any job.

In this case, being born again is the basic requirement for the job in question (Acts 19:15) while a faith in Christ's finished work on the Cross is all the relevant experience these 7 young men needed.
Unfortunately they lacked these requirements yet they wanted the glory PAUL enjoyed.

Beloved members of Sandy's Relationship Forum, please make sure that your CV is always updated and your experiences relevant to God's purpose and plan at every time least you embrace the shame of defeat.

You don't want to ask the sons of Sceva their experience (Acts 19:14 - 16)! 

Unscriptural Quotes

Misinformation is false or inaccurate information that is spread unintentionally. Let us know some of the non-christians' favorite quotes and how dangerous they could be in ‪#‎unscripturalquotes‬.


Quote Three: "Love your neighbour as yourself but you've got to choose your neighbours"

Reflective Mode

#‎ReflectiveModeActivated‬

Lying down on my bed this morning I thought about how my week went and how God led me ... then a thought occurred to me:

"Assume you had to sacrifice your arm for your child (as a price for his waywardness or rebellion). How would you feel if:

- He becomes repentant and decide to make you happy the rest of his life?

- He continues in the same lifestyle that caused your arm to be cut off?

Sincerely, will the price be worth it and how will it affect your relationship with that child?"

Breaking Down Your Defense

The emotional wall of defense is a ‘defense mechanisms’ people erect unconsciously to protect themselves from anticipated emotional pain or stress.  According to an anthropologist, Helen Fisher:

 “when a person is in the bathtub with another person, they have removed their "defenses". Therefore, every touch during this time becomes a lot more intimate”.

In other words, when a person creates the commonness that allows him/her to freely:

       -          prefer and take pleasure in involving an opposite sex you are not married to in undoing your zips;

       -          take off or dress up before an opposite sex he/she is not married to;

       -          wear only under wears before an opposite sex;

       -          discuss sex, sexuality and lust inspired stories;

       -          watch x-rated films together;

       -          touch or allow to be touched in sensitive areas;

       -          take his/her bath in the open in public compounds;

       -          bath with an opposite sex you are not married to;

       -          etc

 Such a person has broken down his/her emotional wall of defense. Once this wall is broken down, every word, touch or actions of each actors in such a relationship becomes a lot more intimate, suggestive and instruments for sensual satisfaction.

But the question is how did you or how can one break down his/her defense?  Let us attempt to answer this question by looking at a conversation I overheard somewhere:

Q:  I am a 21 year old Nigerian boy trying to win the heart of a young lady but have been having difficulties. The young lady in question is beautiful, hardworking, and intelligent.  I prefer to call her Obim and the realization that she is still be a virgin really makes me have a crush for her.

Cleavages Versus Crack Cleavages

Surfing through my News Feed in Sandy's Zoom Facebook page, I came across this wedding picture which got me mad. What is really happening to this generation? Is it civilization that is eroding our ‪#‎morality‬? Has our morality lost its saltiness? Or is this the direct result of our turning our backs on GOD?

Excuse it as much as you want; the fact is that habits like this starts with the "harmless" exposure of the cleavage and the crack cleavage (in the bid not to become a 'Mary Amaka' or wear a 'turtle neck'). But a simple rule of the thumb we must always adapt to is: 'In any situation you find yourself, it is not about who is right but what is right'. This means that you don't do things because other did it but because your conscience certifies it right.

No wonder the bible admonished us that the: 'Fear of the LORD is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline' (Proverbs 1:7).

You are saved today because some cared, it is your turn to care for a lost soul today. You may have to choose between spreading LIFE or LUST.

BoKo Haram Sponsors Revealed

The #BrinBackOurGirls fight is getting more interesting with the dawn of every new day confirming the famous assertion that "there is God ooooooooooooooooooooo!".

According to 'Nigeria We Serve' an NTA Channel 2 television programme, Stephen Davis, the negotiator the FGN contracted to facilitate the release of the Chibok girls has named the sponsors of 'Boko Haram'.

Below is the full extract after some famous quotes as to the possible sponsors of Boko Haram:

..."Arrest Alimodu Sheriff and former Chief of Army Staff" - Stephen Davis


..."Stephen Davis has just named Alimodu Sheriff and Lt-Gen Ihejirika as the brains behind Boko Haram" - EL-RUFAI

... "The Commanders and El-Rufai know where the problem is, he should stop deceiving Nigerians by trying to divert attention" - LT-GEN IHEJIRIKA

In a recent interview with Arise News TV, Australian hostage negotiator, Stephen Davis, hired by the Federal Government months back to negotiate with the terrorist cell Boko Haram, for the release of the abducted Chibok girls, has mentioned former Borno State Governor, Alimodu Sheriff as a sponsor of the terrorist group, Boko Haram. He also said that an unnamed past Chief of Army Staff who was sacked by President Jonathan was also a sponsor of the group.

The A, B, C, Of Effective Communication

Communication is simply the act of transferring information from one point to another through a medium. The information may be transmitted:

-        vocally (using voice);

-  written (paper, graphics, or online);

- non-verbally (using body language, gestures etc).

Since #Communication by default is an essential part of our life; we should pay attention and learn how to communicate effectively. Below are some guidelines to help you develop this skill:

1.          Seek Knowledge: Knowledge is defined as:

-        the facts, information, and skills acquired through experience or education;

-        the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject or

-        the awareness or familiarity gained by experience of a fact or situation.

Make it a lifestyle to learn something new every day.  This disposition alone in some many ways will make you purposeful in life.

2.    Take Time To Articulate What You Want To Communicate: Be reminded that communication is the process of transferring signals or messages from a sender to a receiver.  It is the key mechanism we use to establish and modify relationships, so learn to think through your thoughts (what you want to say) before saying them.  Here lies the secret between being ‘foolish’ and ‘wise’; ‘making things clear’ and ‘being misunderstood’; etc.

The Power Of Effective Communication

The capacity to #Communication effectively in social and corporate circles is the key to building a great personality.

Whether it is in relationships, at school or at work; communication is very important and rudimentary to success.

Hence being able to communicate effectively is the most important of all life skills you should aspire to get. Also, the fact that more than 90% of relationship problems bother on COMMUNICATION buttress the point above.

Please you may want to: "Pay attention to how you communicate before how you communicate derails your relationships".

The Power Of Encouragement

I was just sitting and gazing at my laptop some how lost on what to post this morning and suddenly a member of this great FORUM chatted me up.

The chat got me so inspired on the ‪#‎thepowerofencouragement‬ and the fact that it is your choice to be HAPPY, be ENCOURAGED, fulfill your VISION (actualize your mandate), WEAR yourself out, GIVE UP, be SAD blah blah blah....

Why not explore the #thepowerofencouragement today? Determine to be a blessing just as this Angel (on our Forum) was to me this morning.

Wear a smile and pass it on to others.

Could This Be How Ebola Started?

Recruitment Advertisement (Marketer)

There is an urgent need for application into the position of a Marketer. Read the details of the mode of application in the advert below:

Recruitment Advertisement (Accountant)

There is an urgent need for application into the position of an Accountant. Read the details of the mode of application in the advert below:

Recruitment Advertisement (General Manager)

There is an urgent need for application into the position of a General Manager. Read the details of the mode of application in the advert below:

Ebola Scam

Reflective Mode Activated.....

WHO Declaration On Ebola

The WHO made a statement regarding the 2014 Ebola Outbreak in West Africa today August, 8, 2014 during the Meeting of the International Health Regulations Emergency Committee. Below is the full statement:

The first meeting of the Emergency Committee convened by the Director-General under the International Health Regulations (2005) [IHR (2005)] regarding the 2014 Ebola Virus Disease (EVD, or “Ebola”) outbreak in West Africa was held by teleconference on Wednesday, 6 August 2014 from 13:00 to 17:30 and on Thursday, 7 August 2014 from 13:00 to 18:30 Geneva time (CET).

Members and advisors of the Emergency Committee met by teleconference on both days of the meeting. The following IHR (2005) States Parties participated in the informational session of the meeting on Wednesday, 6 August 2014: Guinea, Liberia, Sierra Leone, and Nigeria.

During the informational session, the WHO Secretariat provided an update on and assessment of the Ebola outbreak in West Africa. The above-referenced States Parties presented on recent developments in their countries, including measures taken to implement rapid control strategies, and existing gaps and challenges in the outbreak response.

After discussion and deliberation on the information provided, the Committee advised that:

• the Ebola outbreak in West Africa constitutes an ‘extraordinary event’ and a public health risk to other States;
• the possible consequences of further international spread are particularly serious in view of the virulence of the virus, the intensive community and health facility transmission patterns, and the weak health systems in the currently affected and most at-risk countries.
• a coordinated international response is deemed essential to stop and reverse the international spread of Ebola.

It was the unanimous view of the Committee that the conditions for a Public Health Emergency of International Concern (PHEIC) have been met.

Facts about Ebola Transmission Mode

In the light of the rumor about Ebola we woke up to this morning in Nigeria. Kindly watch this video and get educated about the disease.

Nigeria And The Ebola Virus Infection

So far Nigeria has experienced the death of 2 victims from the ebola virus. One of these is the Liberian-american infected with the virus and died in Lagos; the second is a nurse that took care of this Liberian while in the hospital.

Today Nigeria announced five other known cases of Ebola virus, bringing the to 7 known cases of Ebola infection in Nigeria. The good news however is that Nigeria and American has agreed to collaborate to manage the event of Ebola virus (EVG) spread.

Ebola virus is spread by contact with the blood, sweat, urine and semen of the infected person or animals like bats and monkeys. The obvious symptoms are: Fever, vomiting, diarrhea and bleeding.

Safety techniques: Wash your hands always, avoid contact with wild animals, safe yourself and others by reporting any of these symptoms to healthy expert on the following Ebola hotlines:

• 08055281442
• 08033065305
• 08023169485
• 08033086660 

 Or on the Ebola official website:

Website: www.ebolaalert.org
 Facebook page: www.facebook/ebolaalert

Click here to get other useful resource materials from our Facebook

Inspirational Icing

Knowing that Relationship has always been a great WORK and that some folks have successfully built great relationships under God should inspire us. What then is God's recipe for success in relationships?

First and foremost, make God the foundation and the only inspiration of your relationships; thereafter make His guideline (scriptures) your point of reference.

And finally make it a habit to depend on God to see you through the troubled waters using the principle below:

1. Ask (According to His will concerning whatever that need is)

2. Believe (Have no doubt if God can do what you asked)

3. Receive (What you receive depends on your faith)

Inspirational Icing

Prof. Dora Akunyili's Family Has Announced Her Burial Rites

A Night of Tributes is to hold at International Conference Centre Abuja from 5:00 p.m. on Monday, August 25, while a Mass would be held for her at Pro-Cathedral Catholic Church, Abuja, by 10:00 a.m. the next day, August 26.

After the Church Service, Dora’s body would leave for Enugu, where there would be a Mass at KSJ Temple at 4:00 p.m. After a High Requiem Mass at Holy Ghost Cathedral Enugu at 9:00 a.m. the next day (Wednesday, August 27), Dora’s body would be taken to UNCOMA Hall, College of Medicine, Ituku Ozalla, Enugu, for Final College Assembly to start from 11:30 a.m. From there, the body would be taken to Awka for Anambra State Government activities, then to Dora’s father’s house in Nanka, before being returned to her husband’s house at Agulu for a Vigil Mass/Wake-Keep.

WHAT QUALIFICATIONS DO YOU NEED TO ENTER A RELATIONSHIP

I have a very honest question that has been bothering my mind for some time now. And I will like to pour it out in the form of a question in case someone out there may have an answer or answers to my questions.

That question is: 'What qualifications, I need to enter into a relationship'.

Please I will need you to understand this simple honest question in the context I have been looking at it:

• You get a First School Leaving Certificate to get into the Secondary School;
• You must write WAEC or NECO to qualify for post secondary Education;
• You must write JAMB to get into the University; 
• You need a degree to get a job;
• You need expertise to get qualification or certification in most professional bodies;
• You must attend a driving School & get a 'Driving License' to drive a vehicle. 
• Etc

In lieu of all the above, I am asking this sincere question: 'WHAT EXAM DO I HAVE TO WRITE, WHAT GRADE DO I NEED TO GET AND WHAT QUALIFICATION MUST I ACQUIRE TO GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP' (eg. marriage relationship)

I kindly beg for honest and sincere answers ... please help out!

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Empowering Yourself through Good Manners

No matter what you choose to call it (manners, courtesy, etiquette, or civility), you can associate it with leadership. When you take the lead in putting people at ease and making every situation pleasant, you exhibit poise. Poise comes from being self-confident.

In today's climate, etiquette and civility are sometimes seen as snobbery - the character or quality of being a snob (arrogant, proud or haughty). Others view polite behavior as a sign of weakness, and some professionals actually believe that it's impossible to get to the top while being gracious and polite. None of this is true. Knowing how and when to ask for what you want in a polite manner means empowerment.

When you need to ask for something, be sure to remember the following:

1. Speak up: Even if you feel intimidated or nervous, you can get around these roadblocks that undermine your efforts by speaking with confidence.
2. Invite reactions: Make it easy for your allies to respond to your request or expectation. Be open to constructive criticism.
3. Be specific: Focus clearly on what you really want or need, and ask for it. You may even want to jot down a few notes or rehearse mentally before making your request, especially if you're about to ask someone on a date.
4. Don't undermine yourself: Adding on demeaning tag beginnings or endings — such as, "I know this is a stupid question, but. . ." or "I'm sorry to have to ask you this.. ." — makes you sound like you lack self-confidence.

Being assertive doesn't equal rudeness. Take responsibility for nurturing and maintaining your own self-esteem. When you're competent in using basic assertive skills, you can feel confident to handle most situations and can achieve the respect you deserve.



Read the Book "Etiquette For Dummies" for more information on the subject matter.
  
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Contact Without Contamination: God’s Relationship Model

Life consists of tiny steps along the path of our destinies. We can actualize or mar these destinies by the quality of the relationships we keep. Success in life depends to some extent upon the support and help we get from other people (no one makes it alone).
 

Relationship exists between a husband and wife; parents and children; brother and sister; colleagues; and between friends (who could be of same sex or the opposite sex). One of the greatest problems that face relationships in our modern society is the issue of ‘Compromise’. This is so because of the effect of the ungodly and permissive nature of the system (society) we are in today.

Every young person going into a relationship must understand that the foundation of any meaningful and sincere relationship is LOVE. Not just any kind of love but the agape love (God’s kind of love). Relationships built on lust and infatuation cannot but lead to compromise and contamination. When a relationship stands on the proper foundation, God’s kind of love, each of the relating partners seek the highest good of the other. In this way there is a mutual building up rather that a tearing down. Any relationship that does not build up or edify the ones involved therein does not stand on a proper foundation such a relationship should be discontinued.

Dangers of Worthless Followership

Hello friends, I gladly welcome you all to this season of self search.

In this season, God is asking us a critical question:
'Isn't Israel a valued servant, born into a family with place and position? How did he end up a piece of meat fought over by snarling & roaring lions?... (Jeremiah 2:14-15).

The unfortunate cause of Israel's tragedy reflected in the question above was:

1)  Worthless followership makes a person one worthless (Jeremiah 2:5). In view of this, I want to ask you a simple but sincere question:

Look Before You Leap: A Relationship Case Study (Part 2)

Jack was so amazed at Jane’s wisdom because in two weeks of implementing her recommendations, he realized a level of profit his business had not seen in five months.  Coincidentally within this time, Mike told Jane to stop seeing Jack because of:

• the strange feeling for caution he has suddenly developed about the whole drama;
• some passive messages Jack has consistently communicated to her lately and;
• the attitudes and contradictions that had began to manifest about Jack.

Summarily Mike had come to the conclusion that Jack had a hidden agenda and was playing with Jane’s feeling without her realizing it. Unfortunately Jane was innocently engrossed in her philosophy of helping a ‘brother in need’, hence, perceived Mike as being jealous. This whole argument resulted in Jane avoiding Mike, her fiancé.

Mike tried to rebuild the line of communication to no avail and decided to follow up the issue prayerfully (that is asking God to open Jane’s eyes to the reality on ground before it becomes too late).  Two weeks later, Jane started seeing through all the lies Jack was telling. Some of which were:

•   He lived with two children (the purported daughters of his aunty living in London) but Jane discovered interacting with them that they were his daughters. And he had them under oath never to tell her about it;
• The business problem was a calculated scheme designed to drag her into a sympathy marriage;
• He wrecked a ‘marriage relationship’ with a young lady already living with him. Who he presented as his employee two weeks after meeting with Jane;
• His boast that he can do anything to woo any woman he was interested in.
• His mother advised him to impregnate Jane since she is playing hard to get.

Look Before You Leap: A Relationship Case Study (Part 1)

Jane and Mike were in a marriage relationship, which they dedicated to God right from the onset. They earnestly wanted to fulfill God’s purpose for their lives, so took time to seek God’s face and get the conviction to go on with this relationship.

While discussing the details of their marriage solemnization (with their family members, the church, etc), the relationship was put to the first test. The story goes thus:

“Jane was a health personnel and a devout Christian. This credential gave her the privilege of being often used as a seminar and workshop resource person within her formation.  On this particular occasion, she was invited to handle a marriage seminar in a branch of her fellowship (she objected to this invitation initially considering that she wasn’t married yet. The leadership of the fellowship prevailed on her so she accepted it).

On the day of the seminar, she gave a good account of herself and her audience acknowledged that her paper presentation was educative.  After the presentation a young man in his mid forties, Jack, sought to know how she could know so much about marriage seeing that she was not married yet. She smiled and told Jack that she was guided by her manual.

Jack insisted that it was not all about the manual but that He sensed that God was with her and that differentiated her from most of the sisters he knew.  Jane felt embarrassed by this comment; he observed it and apologized while asking if he could see her again. Jane told him the branch of the fellowship she belonged to and walked away wondering what Jack had up his sleeves.

Defining The Relationship (Part 2)

How Then Do I Start

The truth is that getting started (defining the relationship) often creates some level of nervousness (leaves butterflies in your stomach). It always leaves your heart racing between issue, your palms sweating, and your knees shaking; all these are understandable because you want to get “this done with” as quickly and effortlessly as possible.  There is however no guarantee that this discussion will be as easy as you had planned it on the drawing board.

The truth is that it wasn’t easy for Joel. Daniela had visited Joel one week after taking him to see her mum, they discussed as usual sharing their experiences, things they have learnt within the period of time they had not seen. While all these discussions were going on, Joel was struggling in his mind how to start off this discussion. Eventually he summoned courage and dropped the bomb: ‘Daniela, you know I have been wondering how this relationship really started and where it is taking us to’.

Silence prevailed over the room, Joel and Daniela got drawn in the sea of deep thought. After a while, Daniela broke the silence and said ‘I am really happy you raised this question’. This is because I have been having sleepless nights too especially because many people have been asking me what I was doing with you. 

Defining The Relationship (Part 1)

Defining the Relationship (DTR) is adding credibility to the word of Dr. Myles Munroe: “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable”.

Purpose is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. That is the motive, justification or objective of its existence.  It can also be said to be a person's sense of resolve or determination (that is your resolution or conviction for doing something). So to define the relationship (DTR) is to:

•        have a reason for getting into the relationship,
•       have a motive for getting into it,
•        have a justification or objective why you should be in it,
•       etc

When To Define The Relationship

Joel was a staff of a well known Church in Nigeria. He was a very good student and was willing to learn something new from anyone willing to volunteer their knowledge. Soon, he realized that Daniela (a sister in the same church was coming close to him), he didn’t have any issue with that because Daniela was a Polytechnic student that needed someone to confide in especially after the death of her younger sister.

5 Signs To Show You Are Not Communicating Effectively In A Relationship

Often time, people think "communication problems" or "bad communication" as it is known in the local palace in a relationship solely manifests when one person just stops talking in a relationship. However, this is not the case at all. There are many other signs that show a lack or the breakdown of effective communication in relationships. If you will ever desire to have an amiable relationship, then it is important that you pay attention to these five signs so that they don’t become major crisis brewers in your beautiful relationships.

Communicating is said to be effective when in a two way information sharing process, a party sends a message that is easily understood by the other party and the desired feedback is achieved/accomplished. This means that for communication to take place there must be:  
      1.  a sender of the message; 
      2.  a message to be sent; 
      3.  a medium for sending the message and; 
   4. an interference (unfortunately many do not pay attention to this; to their detriment)

This write up hopes to highlight some of these interferences that obviously indicate that you are not communicating effectively in your relationship (whether it be with friends, your spouse, your siblings, your children, in the office etc). These principles are same irrespective of the type of relationship. So you may want to pay attention to these relationship time bombs:

NMA And Her Egocentric Demands: The Height Of Gross Lawlessness, Impunity And Blackmail (3)

   22. NMA demands that Government must urgently set up a health trust fund that will enhance the upgrading of hospitals.NMA is being sentimental here, the problems of our hospital is not funding but mismanagement and accountability. Even if the Government sets 100 trust funds with billions of naira much will not come out of it, because the hospitals are managed contrary to Government laws and principles. Hospital/health administrators should be the ones to head and manage the hospitals. Our hospitals have been poorly managed under the leadership of Allopathic Physicians. When there is good management and accountability Government set goals/objectives can be actualized. 

   23. APPOINTMENT INTO THE OFFICE OF THE CMD/MD: NMA is always doctoring and adding to organic laws. In her 23rd demand, NMA stated “the position of the Chief Medical Director/Medical Director must continue to be occupied by a medical doctor as contained in the act establishing the tertiary hospitals. This position remains sacrosanct and untouchable.” I can beat my chest and say that the leadership of NMA have never seen nor read the content of University Teaching Hospitals (reconstruction of boards) cap U15, LFN 2004 commonly called decree 10 of 1985.There is no where it stated what NMA quoted above. In fact the term medical doctor was never used in that document or Act. Section 5 of the act provides; 

           a)    There shall be for each hospital a Chief Medical Director who shall be appointed by the president on

                such terms and conditions as may be specified in his letter of appointment or as may be determined

                from time to time by the Federal Government.

           b)      The Chief Medical Director shall

                           i.      Be a person who is medically qualified and registered as such for a period of not less than 12 years, and has had considerable administrative experience in matters of health and holds a post graduate medical qualification obtained not less than 5 years prior to the appointment as chief medical director and 

                         ii.      Be charged with the responsibility for the execution of the polices and matters affecting the day to day management of the affairs of the hospital.

NMA And Her Egocentric Demands: The Height Of Gross Lawlessness, Impunity And Blackmail (2)

   10. NMA, with the huge sum they are paid, still wants adjustment in their specialist allowance to be paid to all doctors on CONMESS 3 and above, and must be paid its equivalent that is not less than 50% higher than what is paid to other Health Workers. How can NMA be the one to decide what other Health Workers get? NMA should go and read the Parable of one Talent Payment. 

   11. NMA is calling for Government to pay her members 100,000 naira every month as just hazard allowance. How can NMA be demanding for such, despite all she is already receiving? She is being too selfish/greedy in her demands. Even other workers with worse occupational hazards are not receiving such.

   12. NMA insists on immediate release of circulars on rural posting, teaching and other allowance which must include House Officers. Since 2009 NMA and her members have been collecting teaching allowance even though that teaching allowances as approved by the Government was for very Senior Medical Doctors (Consultants and very Senior Registrars)that are involved in teaching of doctors in training, especially the junior and senior interns. House officers are the junior interns while Resident doctors are senior interns doing a student fellowship to become a specialist .Now NMA is agitating that the interns who are still doctors in training should be paid teaching allowance. House officers and resident doctors by government circulars are not entitled to this payment; it is because of them that Government is paying the teaching allowance. How can the doctor in training be asking for teaching allowance when he is a trainee, and who is he teaching? Since the approval in 2009 and full implementation in 2010, House Officers and Resident Doctors who are NMA members, have been fraudulently collecting huge monthly teaching allowances which they are not entitled. There is no government circular or template that approved such payment. It was in this year 2014, that the Government through the Call Budget Circular from the Ministry of Finance opposed and stopped the payment of teaching allowance to interns. For five years members of NMA who were not entitled to teaching allowance have been defrauding the Government. He who comes to equity must come with clean hands.

13. NMA calls for immediate withdrawal of CBN circular authorizing the Medical Laboratory Science Council of Nigerian (MLSCN) to approve licenses for the importation of in vitro diagnostics (IVDS). It is so petty that NMA is going on strike because the Federal Government (which means well for Nigerians), has taken the bull by the horn to making sure that fake/ substandard diagnostic consumables are removed from the system, by effectively empowering MLSCN-the Agency who has the statutory function to do this job. Sections 4b, and 4e of MLSCN act 11 2003 provides- the function of the board are:

(a) Regulate the Practice of Medical Laboratory Science in Nigerian.

(b) Regulate the production, importation, sales, and stocking of diagnostic reagents and chemicals.

NMA And Her Egocentric Demands: The Height Of Gross Lawlessness, Impunity And Blackmail (1)

In an open letter written to the secretary to the Federal Government of Nigeria, Senator Anyim Pius Anyim, on the 10th of June and sent to him on the 11th of June 2014, the Nigerian Medical Association (NMA) under the leadership of Dr. Kayode Obembe as President and Dr. Adewumi Alayaki as secretary had written 24 demands that must be urgently met. They have given the Government a 14-day ultimatum, failure of which NMA would call her members out on an indefinite strike nationwide. NMA is made up of ASSOPON- Association of Pathologist of Nigeria, MDCAN - Medical and Dental Consultants of Nigeria, ARD-Association of Resident Doctors and smaller sister Associations, who are doctors in public and private practice.

For many years, Allopathic Medical Doctors in Nigeria have always hoodwinked the Government and the general public, through falsehood and blackmail. They have coerced the Government to take unfavorable decisions which have always been detrimental to the health sector and the Nigerian populace. They have continually done this as a result of the structural injustice that has been perpetuated by many members of NMA in high places in Government. They undermine the laws setting up the hospital system, the Public Service Rules and above all the constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

At this juncture let us have a critical look at those demands.

1.  APPOINTMENT OF THE POST OF THE DEPUTY CMAC IN HOSPITALS. In line with the University Hospitals (reconstruction of boards) cap U15, LFN 2004 commonly called decree 10 of 1985 which governs Hospital practice in Nigerian, there is the office of the CMAC but it never provided for the office of the DCMAC. In section 4, it provides thus; “there shall be for each Hospital, a Chairman of the Medical Advisory Committee who shall be appointed by the Board and responsible to the Chief Medical Director for all the Clinical and Training activities of the Hospital”. Section 2i provides that; the CMAC is a member of the board. There is no place in the organic law setting up the hospital that created the office of the DCMAC and there is no place it says that only Allopathic Medical Doctors should be appointed as such. Yet NMA is insisting that the Government must appoint four DCMAC in every Teaching Hospital and three in every Federal Medical Centre. All along, Boards of Hospitals as a result of threats from NMA have been allowing this illegal office to be used to undermine statutory approved Scheme of Service of other professional groups. The Public Service Rule in section 1-general in 160101 provides; ‘A Parastatal is a government-owned organization, established by statutes to render specified service(s) to the public. It is structured and operates according to the instrument establishing it and also comes under the policy directives of government. In line with 160201 (a) statutory boards/council shall set operational and administrative policies in accordance with government policy directives and supervise the implementation of such policies. A situation where Allopathic Medical Doctors in Nigeria wants the Government to continue to create post and responsibilities not backed by statutes undermines the principles of good governance. It is gross violation of the law setting the Government owned institution. Moreover, it is trite law that you cannot add to a statute. That will be ultra verse.