Look Before You Leap: A Relationship Case Study (Part 1)



Jane and Mike were in a marriage relationship, which they dedicated to God right from the onset. They earnestly wanted to fulfill God’s purpose for their lives, so took time to seek God’s face and get the conviction to go on with this relationship.
While discussing the details of their marriage solemnization (with their family members, the church, etc), the relationship was put to the first test. The story goes thus:
“Jane was a health personnel and a devout Christian. This credential gave her the privilege of being often used as a seminar and workshop resource person within her formation.  On this particular occasion, she was invited to handle a marriage seminar in a branch of her fellowship (she objected to this invitation initially considering that she wasn’t married yet. The leadership of the fellowship prevailed on her so she accepted it).

On the day of the seminar, she gave a good account of herself and her audience acknowledged that her paper presentation was educative.  After the presentation a young man in his mid forties, Jack, sought to know how she could know so much about marriage seeing that she was not married yet. She smiled and told Jack that she was guided by her manual.

Jack insisted that it was not all about the manual but that He sensed that God was with her and that differentiated her from most of the sisters he knew.  Jane felt embarrassed by this comment; he observed it and apologized while asking if he could see her again. Jane told him the branch of the fellowship she belonged to and walked away wondering what Jack had up his sleeves.

She went straight to see her fiancĂ© and narrated her experience to him after which they both thanked God for everything and Mike reassured her that Jack will not hurt her as long as she allowed herself to be guided by God’s spirit and good reasoning. Unknown to Jane, Jack immediately investigated her and got her detailed bio-data from some unsuspecting fellowship leaders. And two day after she presented the paper, Jack paid her a surprise visit in the hospital where she works. Jane was surprised to see him knowing that she did not give him any of her basic information. When she sought to know how he located her office, Jack told her that it was ‘public information open to anyone who cared to know’.

Hearing this, it dawned on Jane that she must be careful with Jack so she sought to know why he came. In answering, Jack told her he ‘was having some business challenges which he felt she can help him resolve’.  Jane laughed and replied that he chose the wrong business mentor given that she has never had any business experience in all her life but Jack insisted he is convinced she would help him.

Jane, who has rarely had visitors in the office, became more conscious of her environment and politely told Jack she must have to get back to work. Upon Jack’s plea, she told him that she will consider his proposal and get back to him. When Jack had left, she sat back to reflect on the events of the past one hour and was amazed at how in so little a time ‘Jack’ had so much information about her.
After the day’s work, she told Mike everything about Jack’s visit and his request for help with his business. She requested permission to go ahead and find what Jack’s problems really were. Mike did not feel threatened in anyway, so he gave her his express permission. That was how Jane opened up the line of communication with Jack.

With time Jane visited Jack’s home and business place. They discussed at length his business model and after taking the history, she diagnosed the problem of the business model to be ‘ineffective marketing’.  Mike was really the brain behind this diagnosis (being a graduate of Business School); he achieved this feat guided by Jane’s detailed information about the business. Jane on her part, rehearsed every business discussion in details with Mike before seeing Jack – but Jack was not privy to this information.  

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