I will start assuming that we already know what our definition of relation is; in case you will need to refresh your mind on that please click here.
To have a healthy and thriving relationship is: possible, achievable and something within your capability. However you must realize that both parties to the relationship must be willing to make the relationship work.
What are the things that each of the parties must pay attention to? Below are some of the fundamental things to pay attention to:
1. Make Up Your Mind To Be Happy: Each parties to a relationship should be responsible enough to take charge of their happiness. By happiness, I mean the mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. This is so fundamentally important to the human condition that "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" were deemed to be unalienable rights by the United States Declaration of Independence.
In plain word, I am saying that you should endeavour to save yourself hours of sadness or arguing by motivating yourself at all times to be happy. It is good enough to blame others, curse, give excuses that the other parties to our relationships:
- make us who we are (have by their behaviour moulded us to do the things we do).
The truth however is that "it's not up to anyone else to make you happy". You can be as happy or as sad as you choose to be. Therefore stay in charge of your life so that others do not drive it and make you to always do the things that you do not admire or always regret.
2. Make Commitment A Habit: Let your words always be binding. Always ensure you fulfil your promises - do everything that you say you will do. Try as much as you can to maintain a 'Work Life Balance'; do not use your business or work, forgetfulness etc as excuses for always failing on your promises.
Yes, as human we can find ourselves in situations that can make us not to fulfil our promises to people we are in relationships with. What I am saying is that you should not it a lifestyle. The reason for this advice is simple - once you consistently display a lack of commitment in relationships, trust is systematically destroyed.
We all know that trust is one of the pillars of a healthy relationship. Please do not pull it down or the main structure (your relationship) will come crumbling down.
3. Learn To Humbly Forgive And Admit Your Faults As The Case May Be: The words 'I am sorry' they say is very simple but very difficult to say. To make your relationship work again, please learn to confess the wrongs you have done to your partner and seek their forgiveness.
Don't ritualize the saying of 'I am sorry' (or make it a routine). Make it a habit to apologize genuinely (honestly). In situations where you find that no matter how hard you try, you still keeping doing those things that offend your partner (you keep offending your partner in a particular area).
It is important then that you commit yourself to changing that area of your life. And honestly seek the help of your partner in this change process. Do this by getting him/her to objectively let you know any time you start doing those things that offend them.
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2 comments:
I must admit, I've been divorced twice, but not without trying everything I could to save each marriage. Sometimes your partner just isn't willing to put effort into the relationship or admit his/her part of the problem. In that case, it's time to move on and find the person you were truly meant to be with. Or be alone, whichever suits you.
I quiet agree with you Shuana. In this series 'That relationship can still work', I emphasized the fact that relationships must be DEFINED before they are entered into and redefined periodically to make sure that all parties in the relationship are still willing to continue by the terms of reference.
At any point where any of the parties can no longer carry on the relationship, the best thing is to quit. But I am insisting the series seeks to emphasize that you should not quit until you have given it your best.
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