Relationship
exists between a husband and wife; parents and children; brother and sister;
colleagues; and between friends (who could
be of same sex or the opposite sex). One of the greatest problems that face
relationships in our modern society is the issue of ‘Compromise’. This is so
because of the effect of the ungodly and permissive nature of the system
(society) we are in today.
Every
young person going into a relationship must understand that the foundation of
any meaningful and sincere relationship is LOVE. Not just any kind of love but
the agape love (God’s kind of love). Relationships built on lust and
infatuation cannot but lead to compromise and contamination. When a
relationship stands on the proper foundation, God’s kind of love, each of the
relating partners seek the highest good of the other. In this way there is a
mutual building up rather that a tearing down. Any relationship that does not
build up or edify the ones involved therein does not stand on a proper
foundation such a relationship should be discontinued.
The
second pertinent issue that must be settled in a relationship is the issue of
motive. Anyone going into a relationship should ask himself or herself why
he/she wants to relate. Too many times, especially in relationships involving
the opposite sex a lot of young people claim that their motives are pure.
However, the actions and behaviours they display say the contrary.
Suffice
it to say that the best interpreter of motives is ‘ACTION’ (Prov. 20:11).
Actions speak louder than voice, they say. To avoid contamination in a
relationship, a person’s motive must not only be pure but his/her actions
should prove same too. A relationship built on ulterior or selfishness motives
will sooner than later hit the rocks when such motives have been satisfied.
Please beware.
A
few biblical guidelines are outlined below that will help you to build a God
fearing relationship in which will guarantee contact without contamination:
- Grow Your Bond With God: Ensure at all times that you delight yourself in God (you know God, love Him and serve Him). Make sure that at all times your bond with God is stronger than your bond with men. It is only in doing this that you can carry God’s value into your earthly relationships. A practical example of this is seen in Genesis 39:9 (the story of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife).
- Let Your Relationships Be Purpose Driven: This is where the instrument of defining the relationship (DTR) comes in handy (Col. 3:17, 1 Corinth. 10:31). Let your goal in every relationship be:
a) To please God: Your relationships
should be used must be a spring board for delighting yourself in God. By implication, it should encourage your
personal devotion to God. Make Jesus Christ your biggest fan and highest model
at all times (Heb. 12:2a; Psalms 119:9, 11, 105).
b) To fulfill your destiny: As a
platform, your relationships must help you to fulfill your destiny in life
(that is purpose of existence). It should help you discover it, nurture it, and
actualize it.
c) Leave a legacy: It should
enable you to live life to the fullest, enjoy life and leave positive foot
prints in the sands of times.
d) Limit and define the times
spent on the relationships. The man hour and period must be planned (with
stated goals spelt out). This will help you to have time for other businesses
and ensure the devil does not layout his programme of events for you.
- Be Related To People Spiritually Compatible To You: Let your relationships be with spiritually compatible persons. Remember the saying that birds of a feather flock together (2 Corinth. 6:14 - 18). Most people have neglected this counsel to their own peril. The story of Dinah (Gen. 34) and Sampson (Judges 16) in the bible are examples of people who paid dearly for the neglect of this advice. Some of the benefits of adhering to this instruction are:
You will not get corrupted (1
Corinth. 15:33). Creating the wrong commonness (communion) results in the
corruption of your thinking capacity; language; depraving of your good manners;
depraving of your good morals; depraving of your good characters etc. So align
yourself with people who are:
a. spiritually compatible;
b. have compatible skill sets;
c. willing to bend over backwards
and bring you up;
d. who need you as much as you
need them;
e. are teachable;
f. willing to accept you and make
you a better person;
g. etc
- Avoid Making The World Your Standard: Since all that glitters is not gold, pay keen attention when you are searching for gold so that you will not be distracted or misguided to misplace your priorities. Let the relationship author’s manual guide you through it (Rom. 12:1 – 2).
- Be Self Controlled In Your Relationships: Set goals and standards for your live generally and relationships in particular under God. And avoid circumstances and situations that predisposes you distractions (Titus 2:11 – 13; 2 Timothy 2:22a; 1 Corinth. 6:18). Learn to channel your energies rightly and stay focused in all that you do.
- Darkness Will Always Breed Sin: Do not engage in any secret relationships. Let your parents and other elders who have the oversight function over you know about your relationships and guide your every step. Sexual sin is more likely to occur in a secret relationship that it will in a publicized one.
- Be An Example In All You Do: Make a goal to be an example of the believers in all that you do. Your relationships should not be an exception (1 Timothy 4:12).
These
guidelines may not be exhaustive but they present a basis for helping you to
grow a healthy relationship under God. Relationships
that will guarantee sexual purity and ensure you have ‘Contacts Without
Contamination.
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