Choosing A Wife 101

For quite some time now I have being reflecting on the subject of “Choosing a good wife”. However, after much thought and brainstorming with others on the subject, I have come to the conclusion that this subject has been so trivialized. Yet it could and has become a very daunting task that has plunged many into developing a phobia for marriage and a deep seated suspension for the opposite sex.

“As I thought about the best way to present this concept, I came across an interesting short story buttressing the need to trust and allow God WORK and WALK through the marriage path with you. I hope you will find it interesting:

And while we're on the subject of God arranging marriages, I should share this delightful midrash - an ancient commentary on part of the Hebrew scriptures, attached to the biblical text (emphasis mine): “it is said that a Roman woman asked a rabbi, ‘if your God created the universe in six days, then what has he been doing with his time since then?’

LEARN TO TRAVEL LIGHT

The principle of traveling light as a Christian pilgrim demands that every Christian should pay attention to the wisdom in Phil 4:4-9:

“Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute! Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.

Read Also '5 Reasons Why A Stone Will Take Your Place'

Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious — the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.

Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.”

Make this attitude a life style especially now. And see God glorified in your relationships and circumstances.

Two Things That Will Make Your Marriage Relationship Fail! (Part Two)

In my first write up on this subject, I emphasized that desperation makes a person (a man or a woman) to use baits to lure others into loving or accepting them as a good material for friendship, marriage, employer/employee relationship, etc

The bait to be used by the desperate person depends on the victim’s preferences. 2 Samuel 13 is a classical example of desperation manifested in a relationship which bore the fruits of pain and hate. ‘Readers Beware’ because all that glitters is not GOLD.

The second vice that will make your marriage relationship fail is:

Not being at peace with yourself: In order to understand this concept, I will try to explain what it means for one to be at peace with himself.

Read Also 'Stop Watering A Dead Plant'

To be at peace with yourself means:

• To have a true understanding of yourself (Psalm139:14). That is to realize your uniqueness, capabilities, special attributes and so on.

Sinach (the song’s writer) summaries it better: ‘I know who I am, it does matter what you see now – I see God’s glory so I know who I am’

TO HATE OR TO LOVE?

When you perceive others are better than you are; how do you respond to their capabilities, productivity level, skills, achievements, personality etc?

The scriptures rendered below makes it clear that even in the bible days people naturally reacted in the same way (misjudged other peoples intentions) thus;

“But the citizens there hated him. So they sent a commission with a signed petition to oppose his rule: ‘We don’t want this man to rule us’.” Luke 19:14

In The above passage, we see that they hated, wrote petitions, formed parties, and voiced their demands. All these are not bad in themselves but the motive for their usage defines them.

When we wrongly perceive other people, the first instinct would be to ‘Hate’. This is to develop an intense or passionate dislike for a person or something especially when you feel insecure. If this situation continues unabated, it grooms one into:

Be A Worshipper

“If you are righteous, what do you give God,
Or what does He receive from your hand?
Your wickedness affects only a man such as you,
And your righteousness affects only a son of man [but it cannot affect God, who is sovereign].”
Job 35:7 - 8

Two Things That Will Make Your Marriage Relationship Fail! (Part One)

Two things that will make your marriage relationship fail are desperation and jealousy.  In this first

Desperation: This comes from the root word 'despair' which could mean any of the following:

part of the write up, I will discuss the first relationship killer - desperation.

• the complete loss or absence of HOPE
• suffering without a meaning
• a state of rash and extreme behaviour

Any person getting into a marriage because of desperation is a failure going somewhere to happen. This reason is obvious - in nature 'desperation always births pain'. When the sea is desperate it give birth to waves that drawn men; when the earth is desperate, we have earthquakes; when men are desperate it make them to open their cleavages, attempt to buy true love, see relationships as a instrument for improving their profit & loss account, kill, etc

What then is the remedy for desperation in relationships? The remedy Jesus Christ gave in Mark 2:23 - 27 applies here. Marriage is made for man; and not man for marriage! 

Enjoy your life because marriage does not necessarily add to who you are but who you are beautifies marriage.

What Is The Primary Purpose Of Marriage?

Let me start by asking this question that has continually lingered in my mind: What do you think is the primary purpose of marriage?

In the wise word of Myles Munroe: “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable …”.  I think this is the root cause of the gross misunderstanding of this most sort after dream of every young person - MARRIAGE.

I had a time convincing a young lady who believes that men are only there to:

1.     lord it over women,   
2.     deceive women,
3.    have women as their maids (using her words)
4.     etc

I was somehow disappointed that a woman was telling me these things.  And I asked her a questions I thought was really simple.  If marriage is about to deceive and being deceived; then why should we marry?  Unfortunately, she could not answer that as she just kept quiet. 

WiSdOm In Not FiGhTiNg

According to Rabbi Levi Brackman:

“Fighting battles takes energy that is often better spent being productive. Remember that fighting is a backwards motion. Concentrate on going forward instead.”

E-MoTiOnS

The EMOTIONS you must learn to avoid or gain mastery over least they destroy your relationships are:

•  Fear which ultimately leads to insecurity.
•  Greed
•  Jeolousy
•  Anger
•  Hatred
•  Revenge
•  Superstition

Be mindful and careful of these vices or they will undermind you and take the shine off your relationships.

5 REASONS WHY A STONE WILL TAKE YOUR PLACE!

“And he answered and said to them, I tell you, that if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out.” (Luke 19:40).  With a pebble (small stone) in my hand, I suddenly remembered this scripture - Luke 19:40. And while I reflected on it, the following thoughts came to me:

5 REASONS WHY A STONE WILL TAKE MY PLACE!

1. WHEN ONE BOWS TO PRESSURE (THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU): Considering the economic crunch sweeping through the world today, one is naturally drawn to pay allegiance to any person, persons, organizations etc whose influence will shield & alleviate your difficulties. The warning however is that this gravitated allegiance MUST not and SHOULD not override our Love and Trust in God. Meaning that it should not dull your sensitivity to the God's Communication with you. Standing Still to see what God can do is the best path to walk in these trying days; but how many people can STAND STILL & not bow to this financial pressure.

So STAND FOR GOD, STAND WITH GOD and do not become an instrument for fulfilling others people's whims & caprices. Don't be like them for you can only change them when you live your life guided by God.

Rejection Versus Acceptance

People don’t remember you because they LIKE you.  They only remember the competence you possess when they are in need of it (or in trouble).

Put in another way, people appreciate the VALUE you bring to the table better than they appreciate your person. 

Therefore to BECOME MORE INDISPENSABLE: increase your competence, thus, increase your rate of RELEVANCE.

LOVE BUZZ

Yesterday some provocations suddenly got me thinking in the line of: "SEE WHAT LOVE HAS MADE ME DO!".

This was not planned but thinking about it I recalled, love made me:

•  go straight to the house of my would be spouse after work before thinking of going home.
•  learn to cook in order to make her happy.
•  become so tamed and speechless even in the face of provocation.
•  stop eating out because of her food.
•  etc

Please forgive me but "What has LOVE made you to do?

Falling In Love

Success In Relationship

Don't You Ever Give Up On Your Dreams

I must appreciate the fact that I have been away for a while now but before I continue, I would like to welcome you all out there back to this platform and secondly beg you from the dept of my heart never to give up on the dreams God gave you at the beginning of this year irrespective of what you are seeing today. Rather, be resolute that you will have a very productive year piloted by God Himself.

With that done, now I will want us to reflect on some of the issues that have kept me away for this long. These are issues that bother on how far anyone out there can go this year: the issues are what I call the wheel of success - discipline, diligence and sacrifice.

Discipline: This is the ability to motivate oneself in spite of a negative emotional state. It is the systematic instruction given to train oneself on morals, a craft or trade; or following a particular code of conduct or "order" in achieving an assignment. Discipline enforces order – that is, ensures instructions are carried out. The qualities associated with self-discipline include willpower, hard work, and persistence. 

STOP WATERING A DEAD PLANT

Funny as it may be, often, many of us are not aware when we need to move on from a relationship. Coming up with this decision is quiet difficult until it becomes evident we are doomed for heartbreak and sadness.

For those of us who know they should move on after the SLIDING into heartbreak and sadness; logically dust their booms, discover the best way out and move on.  Yet for many others, they sulk and morn over a period and still find it difficult to break away and move on.

Heartbreak and sadness could lead to many vices our age is experiencing today. The unprecedented suicides, metal ill-health, heart conditions, hate, back stabbing, etc could be traced to this inability to make the right decision to move at the right time (Luke 19:20 – 24). 

Heartbreak and sadness is a very dark valley that often leave deep scales in the heart of many.  Most often it is only God that can successfully heal them, so that they can still open their hearts and truly love again in other relationships. 

All types of relationships could lead to this fatal end.  So mindfully seek to understand others in your relationship circle, trust God for guidance, love unconditionally, and bring all differences up for discussion.  When it becomes very obvious both parties cannot coexist in this RELATIONSHIP, I encourage you to “STOP WATERING A DEAD PLANT”. 

Take the decision now and MOVE ON!!!

Hate Versus Dislike

‘Dislike’ and ‘hate’ fit resemble for meaning, the truth be say dem no be the same. Person fit use:

- ‘Hate’ show say him blood hot wella and him fit kill the person or thing wen no sweet am for belle.

- ‘Dislike’ show say sometin no sweet you at all. For dis kind situation, you go just commot yourself from wetin dey happen (the way weh you go take do, every every go notice say wetin dey no sweet you for belle).

Wetin I dey yan be say, ‘hate’ dey carry one kind yeye swag weh dey show say person no send (at all) and kwokwoma no care wether the person kpeme or dey. As the ‘Hate’ matter carry be, people wey go bukuru dey call am “EMOTION”; and dem dey call ‘Dislike’ “FEELING”.

My broda, I don consider the tin wella and me decide say I go just carry myself tie put for LOVE. You dey ask me why? Reason like this now, ‘hate’ na plenty wahala weh person fit carry put for him own head (bros make the tin no kill you o o!).

Abeg, make you no forget say we no be human beings weh dey try get spiritual experience, nbanu, we be spiritual beings weh dey try get human experience.

The tin don finish for my mouth o o o o!

Fear Of Failure

The fear of failure in relationships may just be the instrument you need to guarantee failure in your relationships.

Lust

#SpiritualLive We may not be able to stamp out LUST from our world today since it has supposedly become the Trademark of this age and time.

Note that it is your responsibility to pay the price of diligence required to stamp LUST out of your HEART as a Christian. AND always remember that Lust should have no place in your LIFE.

However you have a choice to LUST and get LOST. What do you think…

Abeg Choose Well

 

Abeg make una no vex, who make this statement and where?

"One discovery: A woman can be a bitter pill to swallow, full of seductive scheming and grasping. The lucky (the man who pleases God) escapes her; the undiscerning get caught. At least this is my my experience ..."