Two Things That Will Make Your Marriage Relationship Fail! (Part Two)

In my first write up on this subject, I emphasized that desperation makes a person (a man or a woman) to use baits to lure others into loving or accepting them as a good material for friendship, marriage, employer/employee relationship, etc

The bait to be used by the desperate person depends on the victim’s preferences. 2 Samuel 13 is a classical example of desperation manifested in a relationship which bore the fruits of pain and hate. ‘Readers Beware’ because all that glitters is not GOLD.

The second vice that will make your marriage relationship fail is:

Not being at peace with yourself: In order to understand this concept, I will try to explain what it means for one to be at peace with himself.

Read Also 'Stop Watering A Dead Plant'

To be at peace with yourself means:

• To have a true understanding of yourself (Psalm139:14). That is to realize your uniqueness, capabilities, special attributes and so on.

Sinach (the song’s writer) summaries it better: ‘I know who I am, it does matter what you see now – I see God’s glory so I know who I am’

• To understand and work very hard at aligning your dreams, desire, beliefs, values, and goals. Note that when your thoughts, words, and actions are aligned that's when you feel at peace with who you are; accept your purpose to the world; and give due diligence to your purpose in life.

I just pray these is not high sounding because I need you to understand that unless you learn to accept and enjoy who you are; you will find it very difficult to accept and get along with people around you and everything in your world – this is a bible principle (Matthew 22:39).

Not being at peace with oneself is the reason why:

• I will snore while sleeping but can never tolerate others when they snore;

• I can wear my socks dirty and smelling but will not tolerate others when they do same;

• I will speak bad English but will be quick at pointing others to how bad their spoken English is;

• I will come to work late but registry my entry time as 7:00am and cast the first stone at another staff that came by 8:00am

The list is endless however that is not my concern here. My primary aim in this write-up is expressed in the question “how can I be at peace with myself? To be at peace with oneself you will need to:

1. Realize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). This is irrespective of where you are today. Always remembering that where you today do not define ‘who you are’ or ‘would be’ rather WHO YOU ARE DEFINES YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES is critical in achieving this.
2. Pay the price to find purpose in life. Please do not just exist but leave a foot prints in the sand of time. You were created for a reason, find out that reason and fulfill it. Many books maps out the path to discovering purpose but the greatest of them all that I will recommend to you is the bible.
3. Stay focused on your purpose and work at it. Give due diligence to understanding your purpose and how to fulfill it. Work! Work!! Work!!!
4. Maintain a hand and mind coordination: Make sure at every point in time that what you are doing (represented by your hand) is consistent with your purpose (represented by the mind). That is the only way to gain success. Also in your choice of friends and spouses, make sure that they are compatible with what is in your hand (work) and mind (purpose).
5. Develop a healthy self esteem (Romans 12:3): Do not measure your life on the scale of others but measure it on God’s scale because He made you and you don’t have the same destiny with any other person out there.
6. Find time to have fun and celebrate the positive things in your life. Always remember that a cheerful heart is good medicine to the bones (Pro. 17:22)
7. Love your creator and be at peace with Him (Prov. 9:10)

Read Also 'Dangers Of Worthless Fellowships'

Not being at peace with himself is the other side of the coin desperation. It puts you on the edge, make you suffer unduly and above all empowers you to naturally hurt others in the pursuit of your happiness.

You can however make the right choices today, learn to love others following God’s model of love (John 3:16).  Please make the right choices that will make your relationship work!