What Is The Primary Purpose Of Marriage?

Let me start by asking this question that has continually lingered in my mind: What do you think is the primary purpose of marriage?

In the wise word of Myles Munroe: “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable …”.  I think this is the root cause of the gross misunderstanding of this most sort after dream of every young person - MARRIAGE.

I had a time convincing a young lady who believes that men are only there to:

1.     lord it over women,   
2.     deceive women,
3.    have women as their maids (using her words)
4.     etc

I was somehow disappointed that a woman was telling me these things.  And I asked her a questions I thought was really simple.  If marriage is about to deceive and being deceived; then why should we marry?  Unfortunately, she could not answer that as she just kept quiet. 

However, I think I know why most people go ahead and marry even when they know that the spouse they are giving their life to:

1.     does not deserve them,
2.     will hurt them,
3.     will not love and be loyal to them,
4.     blah blah blah

My guess is that the answer lies in the subtle LESSONS our societies have taught us over the years about relationships.  We have swallowed these lies line, hook and sinker without daring to ask any question about how true they really are.  Some of these misinformation are:

1. marriage makes you more responsible: Many have misunderstood this plain truth to imply that a suit makes a gentle out of a tout.  But come to think of it, does marriage really make you better?  My hunch tells me that it is what you bring into a marriage that makes you better and also make the relationship both adorable and blissful.
2. somebody gave birth to you; so you must give birth another:  I have always wondered where this mandate is coming from. And the untold truth is, non procreation is the reason why most unmarried people and barren families are not respected.  Permit my asking another question: 'where is it written that not procreating makes one a lesser being or even makes for a less blissful marriage'.   
3. women are your war spoils: This draws from such lessons we were taught in social studies way back in secondary school that women should carry themselves in dignity and walk gracefully (that is “make iyanga”).  In so doing they must maintain a good shape (figure 8), live conscious of their age, appeal to the men by cat walking, dress to kill, etc.  On the other hand the society teaches the men to work very hard to conquer the women.  The primary goal here is to ensure that after wasting all the energy and resource in getting her, the man must make her his war spoil. To achieve this men must: 

• chase, flirt or pursue after women (they must use all the arsenals available to they in achieving this),
• build a physique that can attarct,
• dress to conquer,
• lavish gifts (sanctified bribes) on the female folks,
• smooth talk (that is to toast or use bewitching lines),
• work very hard at gaining affection

But I figured that if men could spend as much time, effort or resources as they put into getting their wives into maintaining that relationships, they will enjoy a blissful experience in marriage.

This brings me back to the question that prompted me to start this write up in the first place: WHAT IS THE PRIMARY PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE?  Marriage is irrespective of how you view it is God’s idea.  And He intended it to be a:

• relationship of respect,
• relationship of mutual submission,
• relationship of love.
• relationship where each member of the union enjoys the other

So for me, the primary purpose of marriage is  for a covenant companionship.  Companionship entails you enjoy the company of your spouse not because of what he or she has but because of who he or she is.  Who he/she is  naturally breeds love and makes all the qualities afore mentioned common place in the relationship.  Once this happens, the other benefits of marriage such as procreation is enjoyed.  Remember however that procreation as a function  of marriage can not take the place of its primary purpose.

So don’t get into marriage because of sex. Or sex will get you out of marriage.  Remember  “Casual Sex Devalues The Spiritual Worth Of Your Body …” (I Cor.6:18).