Dangers of Worthless Followership

Hello friends, I gladly welcome you all to this season of self search.

In this season, God is asking us a critical question:
'Isn't Israel a valued servant, born into a family with place and position? How did he end up a piece of meat fought over by snarling & roaring lions?... (Jeremiah 2:14-15).

The unfortunate cause of Israel's tragedy reflected in the question above was:

1)  Worthless followership makes a person one worthless (Jeremiah 2:5). In view of this, I want to ask you a simple but sincere question:

Look Before You Leap: A Relationship Case Study (Part 2)

Jack was so amazed at Jane’s wisdom because in two weeks of implementing her recommendations, he realized a level of profit his business had not seen in five months.  Coincidentally within this time, Mike told Jane to stop seeing Jack because of:

• the strange feeling for caution he has suddenly developed about the whole drama;
• some passive messages Jack has consistently communicated to her lately and;
• the attitudes and contradictions that had began to manifest about Jack.

Summarily Mike had come to the conclusion that Jack had a hidden agenda and was playing with Jane’s feeling without her realizing it. Unfortunately Jane was innocently engrossed in her philosophy of helping a ‘brother in need’, hence, perceived Mike as being jealous. This whole argument resulted in Jane avoiding Mike, her fiancé.

Mike tried to rebuild the line of communication to no avail and decided to follow up the issue prayerfully (that is asking God to open Jane’s eyes to the reality on ground before it becomes too late).  Two weeks later, Jane started seeing through all the lies Jack was telling. Some of which were:

•   He lived with two children (the purported daughters of his aunty living in London) but Jane discovered interacting with them that they were his daughters. And he had them under oath never to tell her about it;
• The business problem was a calculated scheme designed to drag her into a sympathy marriage;
• He wrecked a ‘marriage relationship’ with a young lady already living with him. Who he presented as his employee two weeks after meeting with Jane;
• His boast that he can do anything to woo any woman he was interested in.
• His mother advised him to impregnate Jane since she is playing hard to get.

Look Before You Leap: A Relationship Case Study (Part 1)

Jane and Mike were in a marriage relationship, which they dedicated to God right from the onset. They earnestly wanted to fulfill God’s purpose for their lives, so took time to seek God’s face and get the conviction to go on with this relationship.

While discussing the details of their marriage solemnization (with their family members, the church, etc), the relationship was put to the first test. The story goes thus:

“Jane was a health personnel and a devout Christian. This credential gave her the privilege of being often used as a seminar and workshop resource person within her formation.  On this particular occasion, she was invited to handle a marriage seminar in a branch of her fellowship (she objected to this invitation initially considering that she wasn’t married yet. The leadership of the fellowship prevailed on her so she accepted it).

On the day of the seminar, she gave a good account of herself and her audience acknowledged that her paper presentation was educative.  After the presentation a young man in his mid forties, Jack, sought to know how she could know so much about marriage seeing that she was not married yet. She smiled and told Jack that she was guided by her manual.

Jack insisted that it was not all about the manual but that He sensed that God was with her and that differentiated her from most of the sisters he knew.  Jane felt embarrassed by this comment; he observed it and apologized while asking if he could see her again. Jane told him the branch of the fellowship she belonged to and walked away wondering what Jack had up his sleeves.

Defining The Relationship (Part 2)

How Then Do I Start

The truth is that getting started (defining the relationship) often creates some level of nervousness (leaves butterflies in your stomach). It always leaves your heart racing between issue, your palms sweating, and your knees shaking; all these are understandable because you want to get “this done with” as quickly and effortlessly as possible.  There is however no guarantee that this discussion will be as easy as you had planned it on the drawing board.

The truth is that it wasn’t easy for Joel. Daniela had visited Joel one week after taking him to see her mum, they discussed as usual sharing their experiences, things they have learnt within the period of time they had not seen. While all these discussions were going on, Joel was struggling in his mind how to start off this discussion. Eventually he summoned courage and dropped the bomb: ‘Daniela, you know I have been wondering how this relationship really started and where it is taking us to’.

Silence prevailed over the room, Joel and Daniela got drawn in the sea of deep thought. After a while, Daniela broke the silence and said ‘I am really happy you raised this question’. This is because I have been having sleepless nights too especially because many people have been asking me what I was doing with you. 

Defining The Relationship (Part 1)

Defining the Relationship (DTR) is adding credibility to the word of Dr. Myles Munroe: “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable”.

Purpose is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. That is the motive, justification or objective of its existence.  It can also be said to be a person's sense of resolve or determination (that is your resolution or conviction for doing something). So to define the relationship (DTR) is to:

•        have a reason for getting into the relationship,
•       have a motive for getting into it,
•        have a justification or objective why you should be in it,
•       etc

When To Define The Relationship

Joel was a staff of a well known Church in Nigeria. He was a very good student and was willing to learn something new from anyone willing to volunteer their knowledge. Soon, he realized that Daniela (a sister in the same church was coming close to him), he didn’t have any issue with that because Daniela was a Polytechnic student that needed someone to confide in especially after the death of her younger sister.