Two Things That Will Make Your Marriage Relationship Fail! (Part Two)

In my first write up on this subject, I emphasized that desperation makes a person (a man or a woman) to use baits to lure others into loving or accepting them as a good material for friendship, marriage, employer/employee relationship, etc

The bait to be used by the desperate person depends on the victim’s preferences. 2 Samuel 13 is a classical example of desperation manifested in a relationship which bore the fruits of pain and hate. ‘Readers Beware’ because all that glitters is not GOLD.

The second vice that will make your marriage relationship fail is:

Not being at peace with yourself: In order to understand this concept, I will try to explain what it means for one to be at peace with himself.

Read Also 'Stop Watering A Dead Plant'

To be at peace with yourself means:

• To have a true understanding of yourself (Psalm139:14). That is to realize your uniqueness, capabilities, special attributes and so on.

Sinach (the song’s writer) summaries it better: ‘I know who I am, it does matter what you see now – I see God’s glory so I know who I am’

TO HATE OR TO LOVE?

When you perceive others are better than you are; how do you respond to their capabilities, productivity level, skills, achievements, personality etc?

The scriptures rendered below makes it clear that even in the bible days people naturally reacted in the same way (misjudged other peoples intentions) thus;

“But the citizens there hated him. So they sent a commission with a signed petition to oppose his rule: ‘We don’t want this man to rule us’.” Luke 19:14

In The above passage, we see that they hated, wrote petitions, formed parties, and voiced their demands. All these are not bad in themselves but the motive for their usage defines them.

When we wrongly perceive other people, the first instinct would be to ‘Hate’. This is to develop an intense or passionate dislike for a person or something especially when you feel insecure. If this situation continues unabated, it grooms one into:

Be A Worshipper

“If you are righteous, what do you give God,
Or what does He receive from your hand?
Your wickedness affects only a man such as you,
And your righteousness affects only a son of man [but it cannot affect God, who is sovereign].”
Job 35:7 - 8

Two Things That Will Make Your Marriage Relationship Fail! (Part One)

Two things that will make your marriage relationship fail are desperation and jealousy.  In this first

Desperation: This comes from the root word 'despair' which could mean any of the following:

part of the write up, I will discuss the first relationship killer - desperation.

• the complete loss or absence of HOPE
• suffering without a meaning
• a state of rash and extreme behaviour

Any person getting into a marriage because of desperation is a failure going somewhere to happen. This reason is obvious - in nature 'desperation always births pain'. When the sea is desperate it give birth to waves that drawn men; when the earth is desperate, we have earthquakes; when men are desperate it make them to open their cleavages, attempt to buy true love, see relationships as a instrument for improving their profit & loss account, kill, etc

What then is the remedy for desperation in relationships? The remedy Jesus Christ gave in Mark 2:23 - 27 applies here. Marriage is made for man; and not man for marriage! 

Enjoy your life because marriage does not necessarily add to who you are but who you are beautifies marriage.

What Is The Primary Purpose Of Marriage?

Let me start by asking this question that has continually lingered in my mind: What do you think is the primary purpose of marriage?

In the wise word of Myles Munroe: “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable …”.  I think this is the root cause of the gross misunderstanding of this most sort after dream of every young person - MARRIAGE.

I had a time convincing a young lady who believes that men are only there to:

1.     lord it over women,   
2.     deceive women,
3.    have women as their maids (using her words)
4.     etc

I was somehow disappointed that a woman was telling me these things.  And I asked her a questions I thought was really simple.  If marriage is about to deceive and being deceived; then why should we marry?  Unfortunately, she could not answer that as she just kept quiet.