Black Traditional Wedding (3)

At this point, I could really feel Johnny’s pains and I asked him what really happened on December 30th, 2010?  Why didn’t Sandra show up for the traditional wedding?   

To answer this, Johnny paused for a while and said: on 25th February, 2011 after I had gotten over the shock of what had happened, I decided to find out what exactly happened considering that neither Sandra nor her parents had sent us any word since that dark Monday in December.  I called Sandra’s cell phone number which I had and it was permanently unavailable; so I called her father who was very bitter.

He told me that Sandra traveled with her brothers (from Spain) to the city on the night before the day of her supposed the traditional wedding. And that Sandra to everyone’s amazement eventually got married to Joseph, friend of her brother, which lived in Spain against her parent’s wish.  According to her dad, the whole scheme was sponsored by her brothers that came home from abroad. And the bait that Sandra fell for here was ‘the opportunity to live in Spain’.

At this point in Johnny’s story, he almost burst into tears but I encouraged him to stay strong. I made bold to convince him that there is a better woman out there that will bring unprecedented happiness and joy into his life and that of his family.  I must confess that Johnny did not believe me but all the same knowing that I was a life coach, older than him and that I had six years of marital experience behind me: he took my word for it.

By now I had finished shopping so we parted ways but the emotions Johnny displayed while telling me this story made me to stay in touch with him.  We talked some more frequently now on the best way forward for him and by the last week of April 2011 Johnny gave me a phone one morning. He was filled with smiles and all he could say was “Life is good”.  I was lost but since he could not say much, we scheduled to have lunch together the next day.

At the lunch, he told me that he was finally in another relationship. I asked why he was so excited about this new relationship. And he told me that it is amazing how Becky loves, adores and respects him (‘..the only to explain this is that she is God sent’ – these were his exact words). While I was still thinking of what to say, he pointed me to the maturity of Becky and the fact that every thought of her gives him an inner confidence and reassurance that he is on the right track. When I asked him who Becky was, he smiled broadly and said she works in his office but wondered why he had never noticed her all this time.

I encouraged him and laid out the principles that must not be broken or overlooked if marriage is in view in this relationship.  And by July 30th, 2011, this budding relationship culminated into a marriage – you can only imagine how happy Johnny was. He danced very hard leaping here and there because this marriage this was the permanent healing to the scar 30th December, 2010 had left on him.  What a joy it was to watch Becky and Johnny play around their living room.

Suddenly Johnny started seeing all that transpired between Sandra and him from a different perspective.  He now realized that if he had married Sandra, Becky (who adored him passionately) would not have come into his life. This made him to become very thankful to God for everything that happened.

But sometime in December 2013, Johnny called me by 10am (local time) to say that Sandra called him from Spain to apologize for the embarrassment she caused him and his entire family members. According to her, she was deceived into marrying Joseph by her brothers because they actually needed it to consolidate some business deals with the company belonging to the family of Joseph.  Joseph’s family was a wealthy family and owed a company Sandra’s brothers were doing business with.  This first son of this family (Joseph) insisted he would only consider marriage if his parents can get him a Nigerian lady who was a nurse.

Sandra’s brothers knowing their sister was a nurse decided to get her into a contract marriage with Joseph on the condition that they will be made the sole suppliers of raw materials to the Shoe company owned by Joseph’s family for five years. However, half way into the contract she saw through their plans and decided to get back to Johnny. Johnny forgave her but told her he is already married too so he is no longer open for a other relationship. According to Johnny, Sandra wept bitterly on phone when she heard that and pleaded that Johnny should at least have her back as ‘a friend’ if not as ‘his wife’.

Johnny knowing the chemistry that existed between them before they broke up vehemently said ‘NO’.  Sandra however is not giving up on him without a fight – so she calls him every day and stays on phone for hours pleading. Johnny has told his wife, Becky, everything that happened between him and Sandra and her calls requesting for friendship again. Becky however feels the decision of what to do with Sandra lies with Johnny and her input may not make any difference.

During my last discussion with Johnny on this issue, it was obvious that he was in a dilemma. He did not want to hurt Becky in anyway and he was considering having Sandra back as a friend (it was obvious to me that he was gradually losing his defense).  But his biggest fear is “What will happen the day Sandra and I meet alone in a solitary place?