A Black Traditional Wedding (2)

Many neighbours jumped in excitement at the announcement of the date of our traditional wedding for December 30th 2010. They rejoiced that we held on to each other irrespective of all the challenges we had gone through, this made Sandra and I more proud of ourselves.

By the first week of December, I visited Sandra’s parents to have a firsthand information regarding my family’s visit, and was every excited at how homely her father was with me. The truth is that before now, Sandra’s father never took me serious but at point when I mentioned the issues of marriage to him, his attitudes changed towards me. We spent so many hour discussing and finalizing on the arrangements for the traditional wedding on my visit and I promised to stay in touch with him in order to be kept abreast of all further development. Sandra’s mother was full of praise for Sandra and I; she even went ahead to give us her blessings ahead of the December 30th, 2010 – date of the ceremony.

However, things began to take a different twist when Sandra’s siblings came back from Spain in the second week of December. I suddenly started seeing less of Sandra, and she would not return my calls because she was busy with home chores - making sure her siblings enjoyed their stay in Nigeria. The day she was scheduled to come around for a discussion with my dad (that is on December 20th, 2010), she did not show up. When my dad learnt I had not seen her for two weeks, he perceived that something was wrong somewhere.

Sandra continued being incommunicado and on December 27th, 2010, my dad insisted on speaking with Sandra’s father to confirm if the ceremony was still in view considering the fact that Sandra was no longer in the loop of the preparations for the traditional wedding. Sandra’s father was surprised at this and affirmed that arrangements for the December 30th ceremony were in top gear as far as her family was concerned – this reassured my dad. I called Sandra thereafter, and she sought my forgiveness for not being incommunicado and affirmed that she was preparing earnestly for our event. According to her, she had delegated all duties duly to her siblings (who were all graduates from the university as at then).

I gave her the benefit of doubt since there was some improvement in her call rate after the encounter of December 27th.  December 30^th, the date for the traditional wedding finally came; my family and our well wishers arrived at the scene of the ceremony (Sandra’s family home). The drums were rolled out and her family members were receptive and very hospitable, we however waited from 12 noon when we arrived till 4pm and Sandra did not show up. She and her train were supposed to be coming in from her Uncle’s house put at this point no one could explain what was happening and worst of all her phone was not going through.

My parents felt very embarrassed before their friends, while Sandra’s father very restless dispatched his younger sons to go and find out what the problem was. Sandra’s father was shocked since his daughter had not at anytime shown him any sign of no longer being interested in the relationship with Johnny – he was very disappointed.

By 5pm my parents had exhausted their patience, so they left the family home of Sandra (my assumed fiancée) with their friends without a word from her. After they had left, I felt like a knife was stabbed into my heart and I went blank. When I regained consciousness, I was in my room and my head was pounding but I had many answered questions that I had the least clue to their answers: 

1. What really happened?
2. Did Sandra intentionally plotted to humiliate me and my family members?
3. Was this her plan all along?
4. How couldn’t I see through all this?
5. Was I deceived?
6. Is this the same Sandra that I know or is it someone else?
7. How could I have brought such unhappiness to every members of my family?
8. Etc

Everyone around were so unhappy and the best way I knew I could manage the situation was to stay moody and quiet. I stayed this way from that day till the January 5, 2011 – the day I resumed work. After narrating all that transpired to my boss, he immediately sent me to the company hospital. At the hospital, the Company Doctor took my history and advised that the best way to go was for me to pre-occupy myself with something I loved very much.  He said this will help me to get over the predicaments quickly, so in line with his advice I direct the energy to my work. Since I love this job, I was easy for to give myself completely to it.  And true to the doctor’s words, I saw a reason to live once again – and to my surprise the weight of the wedding disappoint suddenly evaporated and soon I was able to move on with life as if nothing happened.

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