Guilt Complex 1



Hello friends, I hope you are fine and optimizing God's grace and the opportunities your present relationships are availing you? Today we will be discussing "Guilt Complex".

As I left the office last Monday, I thought about the distress call I got earlier in the day and felt compelled to visit a friend.
As I pondered over the decision to visit Kayode, it suddenly dawned on me that Kayode and I have not seen each other for the upwards of six months now. This realization shocked me considering the fact that we were like bread and butter as younger people. At this point, I felt the cold hands of guilt overwhelm me for being incommunicado for this long.

I was caught up in a traffic jam while driving to Kayode's house (which was on the other end of the city). This gave me ample time to reminiscence those times Kayode and I lived in the same neighbourhood and worked on the "Kill Mosquito" project together. I got lost in thought only to be aroused by the blaring horns of cars 45 minutes later when the traffic started trickling slowly.

I turned on my car engine amist the impatient calls from the other road users that I should move this cartoon out of the road (referring to my car - by the way). As I slowly drove through the traffic, I asked myself, 'was it wrong that marriage happened to both Kayode and I?'.


The only ready answer my mind could avail me were the words of Apostle Paul rendered in I Corinthians 7:28. It read:
"... All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time...".
Did I hear you say 'it is a necessary evil'?
Anyway I eventually got to my friend's house at about 7pm. There he was sitting on the sofa and gazing blankly like a transfixed child.

 Always remember that guilt is the secret weapon for the control of children
On my way home yesterday, I stopped by Mallam Sani's kiosk - down the street - to buy some convenience goods. As I bid the hearty Mallam good night, my attention was drawn to a young man sitting besides the kiosk lost in thought and apparently not aware of any activity going on around him.

Joe was a vibrant and gallant young man, known and loved by all in the neighborhood. I called out to him and literally had to shack him out of his trance. He startled on seeing me and I could immediately sense that he must have a problem. To divert his attention from his thoughts, I invited him over for a dinner in my house. Reluctantly he accepted my offer, then we drove off together.
For a lively young man like Joe, it was certainly obvious that this evening he lacked the characteristic spark usually associated to his person.

Over our dinner, I sought to know why he was so transfixed earlier on. He stared at me blankly for a while and said:
'For sometime now, I have been having this crippling feeling of isolation resulting from my refusal to respond successfully to some instructions, guidance and responsibilities I received from God. These instructions are with respect to a business relationship I got involved in'.

Upon further probe, I realised he had a syndrome I call - GRACE LAG. This is a feeling of sudden lost of confidence, emptiness, confusion, and drought trailing the negligence of instructions and responsibilities (emanating from God or man).
Grace lag syndrome is principally caused by disobedience and negligence. And it is characterized with: a sudden loss of confidence, an emptiness, a sudden lost of focus and direction, betrayal of trust, disobedience, a loss of interest in one's environment, self guilt, rationalization of one's actions, etc

In my opinion, the only way to bridge this lag is by:
- seeking forgiveness (from the offended whether it be God or man);
- rebuilding the lost trust by stepping out to execute the laid out instructions;
- determining to live in obedience thereafter (so that you don't fall back into this syndrome again);
- not ever allowing love and loyalty to be lacking in your relationships;
- learning to live faithfully.

Dear friends, please don't allow yourself to be suffocated by this syndrome. You must understand that in the realm of responsibility management:
a)  the quicker you learn to respond to (that is act on) responsibilities given to you in trust; the sooner you will get another responsibility and;
b)  the true measure of greatness and productivity is determined by the amount of responsibilities you can accommodate, and deliver on efficiently.
Always remember that "whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much..." (Luke 16:10).

Take a good care of yourself until we meet again and 'make your relationships count'.

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