Relationship

Definition

A relationship is an association between two or more people that may be brief or enduring in extent.

The type of relationship one engages in is determined by the issues discussed in the basis for defining relationship below. Individuals can have relationships with:

1)  Another individual (be it same sex or the opposite sex)
2)  A group (as we see in the case of a leader and the people he/she leads; whether it be a family, church, community etc)

Most scholarly works on relationships spotlights the subsets of relationships - relationships involving people in pairs (group of two).

Basis For Entering Relationships


Relationships may be entered into based on:

1. Assumptions: This basis for entering relationships is the process by which a conclusion is drawn based on multiple observations or counsel.  This conclusion may be correct or incorrect (meaning that the degree of correctness or incorrectness may be called to question question).  For example, a man may observe a young lady and discover that she always helps or show kindness to the people around her and bases on this observation he may decide that she is friendly and begin a relationship with her. It is worthy of note however that his inference may be correct or incorrect.
2.  Love: Love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes ranging from pleasure to interpersonal attractions.  Love used in this understanding may refer specially to the passionate desire and intimacy of:  a)  Romantic love: That is also known as eros (sexual love); and is the kind of love that exists between two love birds.  b)  Emotional closeness: This type of love is referred to as familial love (storge).  This is the type of love that exists among family members (ancestry).  c)  Platonic Love:  This is a non physical or non sexual love that defines true friendship. This can also be known as philia.  d)  Agape Love: This is the profound oneness or unconditional quality that characterizes the devotion religious love. These diversity of use of the word 'LOVE' and their meanings, combine with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes it unusually difficult to consistently define the concept.
3. Shared Aims: This is unity developed on the basis of having common interests (as in the case of groups or communities). This may be interests, standards or objectives which engenders solidarity among the members of such a group.  A clear example of this is where the Holy Bible enjoins Christians to show sympathy to fellow Christians (2 Cor. 6:14)
4. Business Contacts: This type of relationship develops from constant business contacts.  That is, the fondness (desire to hang around each other - which is the foundation upon the relationship is built) is developed through the business contacts.
5. Other social considerations: These considerations are commitments that may inspire people to develop relationships.  Some of such considerations may be: temperament, courtesy, loyalty, dedication to a course etc.

Considerations For A Choice Of Relationship

Relationships are formed in the context of: 

1. Social Groups And Society: Your immediate environment to a large extent helps to determine the type or class of people within your network of friends.
2. Culture: Culture here refers to the totality of the  way of life of a people (this includes their foods, dressing, language, music, etc).  This also helps to shape the kind of relationship you enter into. Let consider this example, Nkiru while growing did not like a particular tribe (in the Northern part of Nigeria) - for reasons best known to her. This made her to reject everyone from that part of the country that approached her for friend.
3. And Other Influences: Other considerations that could help people form their choices of the relationships to enter are: a) Economic considerations   b)  Educational considerations   c)  Health considerations - that is the issue of genotype, blood grouping, health impediments etc   d) Personal biases   e)  Ethnic divide   f)  Etc

Types Of Relationships

Relationships are exhibited in varying forms namely:

• Family pr kinship relationships
• Friendship/Peer groupings
• Marriage relationships
• Relationship of colleagues/associates
• Neighbors
• Etc

These forms of relationships may be regulated by laws, customs or mutual agreements; and they are the basis for existence as communities.  It is important we understand that from the philosophical point of view, relationship is a CHOICE which both parties to the relationship must agree to.

This means that the relationship must be defined from the word go; and every party to it must decide if they are able to keep the terms, laws and considerations of the mutual existence.  Where one finds he will not be able to keep them, it is important that you back out from the relationship from the very beginning other than proceeding into the relationship and seeking the other party to give into your submissions.  

This put in another way simply means that the choice to enter a relationship is dependent on the following conditions:

• You must understand who the other party to the relationship is (whether it is an individual or a group).
• You must understand what the other partner is expecting from you (that is what you are bringing to the relationship).
• And you should understand what you are expecting from the other partner (that is what the other partner is bringing to the relationship).

If these three issues are not clarified (defined and understood by both parties) from the word go, then you may need to tread carefully or better still quit the relationship.

Conclusion

Relationships whatever the type involves some level of interdependence.  people in relationships tend to influence each other (with their thoughts, feelings etc) and also engage in activities the other partner enjoys.  Because of the element of 'interdependence' in relationships, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member.

The next part of this series will zoom in on the effects of this impact in the whole nine yards of a marriage relationship.  If you find this write up helpful, please 'LIKE' our Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/Sandyszoom.relationships

Excerpt from www.wikipedia.com on relationship was very informative in putting up this write up.